*Lots of chocolate may have been consumed in the last week along with powered sugar donuts.
Please know that I am ok and will be just fine. No need to worry…except for soon-to-be depleted availability of chocolate. You may want to grab your stashed chocolate as you read this because it may be the end to ability to find chocolate.
Walking through a time that calls for great faith is hard enough. There are great emotions. For us right now, it seems like we are always waiting on something which causes a large emotional demand. First for a call for an interview. Wahoo! Emotional high with great trust and hope. Then you interview and wait…and wait…and wait. Sometimes a few days. That’s alright. Week or weeks….well, Satan likes to play with our minds at that point. He likes to twist our thoughts. He’ll take the solid relationships you have and start to pick at them. He likes to get in there and play those stupid games. He’s playing you.
Now, take that and add one more thing. Add a surgery where you voluntarily give up one of your hormone producers. Yeah. I can’t say it was a bad decision to have the surgery cause I was in a bunch of pain before it, but man, having that pulled out has added to the level of near craziness that I feel. In one day, even one hour, I can go from desperate frustration and crying to God’s got this. But the swings are SO much greater. My dear, poor husband. He deserves a big metal of honor for all he puts up with right now! (If you see him walking around looking a little weary, just direct him towards the nearest coffee press so he can caffeine before the next round.)
After a burst of emotion this morning, I sat down to eat my breakfast and realized how intense this is right now. If you know me personally, you know I am a prepared person. I have Plan A, B, C, D, and E all ready for just about any situation. For some reason, I had not properly prepared myself for this surgery and the issues that would come forth afterwards. Sadly, my zits, near fainting, hot flashes, and rollercoaster emotions are all very common. Yeah, would have been nice to know! Perhaps since we are going through our faith journey, I would have postponed this surgery until after life settled down a bit? Or perhaps this is all part of the journey. So what do I do NOW with where I’m at?
On Sunday, God kept putting the word HOPE in front of me. On Monday and Wednesday God kept showing Bryce things about Trust. As we wait, and we wait, and we wait….we are have been struggling so much for Trust and Hope. Those two words go right with each other. Here’s the point. God’s giving us a message for right now. We can’t live off of last weeks message. We must find out His word for us right.
“Have hope, Jill. Don’t loose hope. Don’t, in those times when you are crying, loose hope.”
In Jesus Calling today, it talked about the deep center inside of us where God’s Spirit resides. There’s peace in there, but we must remember to find your way back to that place of peace. We surrender the lies Satan is trying to stuff in our heads right now and ask God to fill us up again.
“God, I know you are true. I know you have a promise for us. I know you are never going to fail us. I know that you love us. I know that you care for us.”
Our strength is being tested. Our character is being continually remade, grown, and expanded. In these times we just have to hold fast to God knowing He didn’t bring us to this situation to fall. He’s got something for us. Even now as I write this, there is disbelief in my brain. God, help that disbelief to go away because you’ve got this covered.
Take a moment and just sit before God. Tell God about the devil’s games. He’s got his little fingers in there, playing around in my brain. In that moment, in saying that, God will start dropping those truths in your head. He’ll tell you, “I’ve got you.”