Guard Your Heart

I’m sitting here reading through Numbers 29 with all the instructions on which offerings they had to give when and it gives me such anxiety. It literally is so beyond me that I can’t help but skim over this chapter, but then I feel guilty for skimming because I should want to read all of this. Ah! I’m overwhelmed just reading it, I can’t imagine living it out! “Performance Anxiety.” Those are the words that pop into my head. I’ve gotten over my stage fright, but this performance anxiety goes much deeper. This anxiety doesn’t come from performing, but not performing … Continue reading 

How Does Your 90% Respond?

I’ve come to the conclusion that nothing will be perfect.  I know that might sound simple or harsh to some, but I’ve grown up a perfectionist.  Until March 29, 1998, I felt I was living a perfect life (you can read a bit about that here).  There was a whole lot of great in my life and not a lot of conflict or issues. Over the last 16 years, I’ve learned that life is not perfect.  There are pros and cons to each situation in life.  You will never find the perfect anything.  For all you perfectionist, I know those … Continue reading 

I AM STARVING

My son was laying on the couch today in a pitiful pile of whine.  He hurt so bad.  His head, his stomach, he had dry lips, even thought he might throw up…he was a mess.  So we started talking through the reasons as to WHY he was all messed up.  There was one point that I simply could not believe he was not sick because he was being so lazy and whiny.  I was so convinced he was sick that I got him his pillow, comforter, and Pookie (don’t ask…he might not be happy with my sharing this information) and … Continue reading 

Emotional Overload

*Lots of chocolate may have been consumed in the last week along with powered sugar donuts. Please know that I am ok and will be just fine.  No need to worry…except for soon-to-be depleted availability of  chocolate.  You may want to grab your stashed chocolate as you read this because it may be the end to ability to find chocolate. Walking through a time that calls for great faith is hard enough.  There are great emotions.  For us right now, it seems like we are always waiting on something which causes a large emotional demand.  First for a call for an interview. … Continue reading 

Random Thoughts on a Busy Week

1. It’s hard to have a schedule and order my daily life when it keeps changing.  I need to find the constant at home instead of what happens outside of it. 2. Some of the things I can’t take with me into my future are hard to deal with because they are inside me.  Right now, God is dealing with my pride.  It’s the cousin to insecurity and sometimes they are hard to tell apart.  They have been apart of major life decisions from the time I was a kid and they have been a bad compass for me to … Continue reading 

Make a Life

I think I’ve finally figured out my obsession with the South.  Last night I watched a movie called “Finding Normal” and it kinda solidified my feelings.  I equate the South with Simplicity.  Now, don’t get me wrong…I’m not calling the South simple.  Movies portray the South as more laid back, easy going, and living the old American way of life.  Who doesn’t want that!  I kinda do a lot. The last few weeks of unemployment have been so awesome!  I had 5 people ask me on Sunday how I was liking being done and you know what?  I LOVE it. … Continue reading